Articles

An Antidote for Anger

As believers, we use our tongues to glorify Allah ﷻ, not to debase people, and we restrain our rage and pardon others. For the one who soothes their anger and swallows their rancor is better, as the Prophet (ﷺ)taught us, “When you are angry, be silent.”

Introduction

Learning to control our negative emotions and closing a chapter with forgiveness, especially with those who have wronged us, is a moral virtue that requires us to look at our offender with a compassionate eye.

It is a profoundly liberating approach to resolutely detach ourselves from the tendency of vengefulness, and respond to our own hurt or anger with empathy and not acridity. 

The Essence of Anger

Every once in a while, we find ourselves swimming in a pool of anger that renders us incapable of anchoring our composure. Anger is part of an internal war we tussle with ourselves which tumults through the surface when we are overwhelmed or incapable to hold it in.

Ironically, beneath its surface, anger has an underlying quality which is so closely tied to forgiveness – it can become a source which makes our hearts more compassionate. As one of the most upright individuals to walk this earth, ʿUmar ibn al-Khattāb, perfectly captured this facet of anger.

When ʿUmar was the Leader of the Believers, a man by the name of ʿUyayna ibn Hisn, visited the Prophet’s (ﷺ) city. He stayed with his nephew Hurr ibn Qays, a close companion of ʿUmar’s, who was a ḥāfiẓ.

Hurr also had access to the Caliphate’s council which consisted of an array of young and elderly ḥuffāẓ. ʿUmar used to like to have them close to him because he frequently consulted them and valued their opinion.

ʿUyayna wanted to be granted this privilege of joining ʿUmar’s council. So, he asked his nephew:

يا ابن أخي لك وجه عند هذا الأمير، فاستأذن لي عليه، فاستأذن له، فأذن له عمر

“My dear nephew, you have access to the Leader of the Believers. Will you obtain permission for me to sit with him?”

Hurr relayed his uncle’s message to ʿUmar, and ʿUyayna was accorded permission to participate. But the moment he came face-to-face with ʿUmar in the assembly, ʿUyayna appallingly addressed the caliph in an accusatory manner:

يا ابن الخطاب‏:‏ فوالله ما تعطينا الجزل، ولا تحكم فينا بالعدل، فغضب عمر حتى هم أن يوقع به

“O son of al-Khattab! By Allah, you have not given us abundantly, and you have not ruled over us justly!”

ʿUyayna’s unruly behavior was uncalled for, and it took the council by surprise. Evidently, as an outsider, he knew nothing about ʿUmar’s conduct at the helm of the nation. His words carried no weight and were far from being true.

ʿUmar was a noble and noteworthy ruler that drove the Muslims in the Golden Age of Islam; his leadership defined justice. He tended to everyone’s needs, and thought of every single being under his rule, including the animals – all out of his fear of Allah ﷻ, for the responsibility that he shouldered.

Naturally, upon hearing these false allegations, the short-tempered ʿUmar rose from his seat in fury. As he was about to attack ʿUyayna, Hurr quickly diffused the situation by voicing out his stance while reciting a befitting verse from the Qur’an:

يا أمير المؤمنين إن الله تعالى قال لنبيه صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏{‏خذ العفو وأمر بالعرف وأعرض عن الجاهلين‏}‏ وإن هذا من الجاهلين‏.‏

“O Leader of the Believers, indeed Allah told his Prophet (ﷺ), Take forgiveness (as your habit), enjoin virtue, and ignore the ignorant. (Surah al-ʾAʿrāf: Verse 199)”

Deeply impacted by the speech of Allah ﷻ, ʿUmar immediately collected himself then slumped, somewhat motionless in his seat. In the midst of his seething anger, ʿUmar forgoed his frustration and displayed compassion towards ʿUyayna – all thanks to one powerful verse.

Although ʿUmar’s withdrawal from the situation may seem counterintuitive as a leader; no doubt he had every right to reprimand ʿUyayna for his actions, but his unequaled love for Allahﷻ was dominant. His reliance on the truth guided him to suppress his emotions, overcoming any resentment he may have harbored. Ibn ʿAbbās stated:

كان وقافًا عند كتاب الله تعالى

“He (ʿUmar) always adhered strictly to the Book of Allah.”

The Better Reaction

Forgiveness is difficult to achieve in the face of anger, but the approach drives us closer to The Source. Allahﷻ asserted that it is always best to show forgiveness (عَفو)to those who have wronged us. 

If we want Allah ﷻ to forgive us, then we should be willing to forgive others. Everyone is worthy of mercy. When Allah ﷻ completed His creation, He wrote over his throne:

 إِنَّ رَحْمَتِي سَبَقَتْ غَضَبِ

 “My Mercy precedes My Anger.” 

Granting forgiveness to others for their shortcomings and transgressions is generally a rare occurrence – but for the ones who love Allah and His Book, it is the most rewarding act. Getting rid of enmity in our hearts is a remedy that leads us to Paradise. The Prophet (ﷺ) said,

إِذَا وَقَفَ الْعِبَادُ لِلْحِسَابِ يُنَادِي مُنَادٍ لِيَقُمْ مَنْ أَجْرُهُ عَلَى اللَّهِ فَلْيَدْخُلِ الْجَنَّةَ ثُمَّ يُنَادِي الثَّانِيَةَ لِيَقُمْ مَنْ أَجْرُهُ عَلَى اللَّهِ فَيُقَالُ وَمَنْ ذَا الَّذِي أَجْرُهُ عَلَى اللَّهِ فَيَقُولُ الْعَافُونَ عَنِ النَّاسِ فَقَامَ كَذَا وَكَذَا فَدَخَلُوهَا بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍ

“When the worshipers stand to be held to account, a heavenly caller will announce: Let them stand to be rewarded by Allah. Thus, they will enter Paradise. A second caller will announce: Let them stand to be rewarded by Allah. It will be said: They are those who forgave people. Thus, so many will stand and enter Paradise without account.” (Makārim al-Akhlāq lil-Ṭabarānī)

Whenever we come across ignorant people, we should also refrain ourselves from saying anything evil, and instead, respond with goodness (عُرف). If we do not have the capacity to do so, then simply turn away from them or otherwise, remain silent. 

Provocation is not worth a reaction. As the wise Imām al-Shāfiʿī once said,

أَما تَرى الأُسدَ تُخشى وَهِيَ صامِتَةٌ, وَالكَلبُ يُخسى لَعَمري وَهوَ نَبّاحُ

“Don’t you see that the lion is silent and yet feared, while the dog barks constantly and is despised?”

If we can abide by this wisdom, we will never let even an iota of our anger occlude the view of our Ākhirah. When we persevere in uprightness, show tolerance towards others, and ground ourselves with Allah’s Book in this granted temporality, gradually, we will be able to follow the path of the forerunners and our beloved Prophet (ﷺ) in attaining the greatest triumph.

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